If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
