Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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