Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
