oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You smell like a Billy Joel song
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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