So drunk its hurt
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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