you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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