I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
