he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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