just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
