Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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