Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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