grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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