I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
