I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
