you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
