Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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