She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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