Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
