He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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