Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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