How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
