nut hugger
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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