we're blogging at a bar
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
