after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
