Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
