But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
