I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
