in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
