I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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