How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize