Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
