So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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