i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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