I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize