Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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