Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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