I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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