i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize