O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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