Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
