I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
