sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
