i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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