I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
