my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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