New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize