Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
