I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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