is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
