I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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