I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well I just put wine in my tea
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
