i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
