Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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