see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This is my gift to your gina
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
