Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
