Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
