How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
