Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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