when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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