bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
